"Decoys" review

By Marty Kocon
Cardinal Staff

In the wake of Tuesday’s events, I think we can all understand that there are things in this world that are worth fighting for, and in the billions spent campaigning nothing has mentioned one of those vital truths.
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This fact is none other than that the film “Decoys” has been so cleverly hidden from an American public that is in desperate need of it.

For those unfortunate souls who do not know about “Decoys,” it is a cinematic masterpiece from the line of such epics as “The Ten Commandments,” “The Godfather” and “Star Wars.” This Canadian film is the best thing to come out of Canada since cheap prescription drugs.

The film takes place at a Canadian college where young, wide-eyed freshman Luke Callahan runs across what every freshman hopes for- interested girls. But these are not just any girls. Constance and Lily are “the babe bookends.” Unfortunately, Luke soon discovers that these girls happen to be aliens, and it falls upon Luke to alert the school to this intergalactic invasion before it is too late.

Alright, so this film is not “Ben Hurr” or “Lawrence of Arabia,” but the film is entertaining beyond belief. The extended cast includes the beloved overdramatic stereotypes, including Luke’s roommate Roger, “the desperate virgin”; Alex, who is seeking to break free of being just one of the guys and win over the heart of the oblivious Luke; inept wise-cracking policemen; and swarms of high-pitched sorority sisters.

While the laughs may not be intentional, this film will leave you in tears and quoting all of the overdramatic dialogue and cheesy one-liners.

The “Decoys” issue may have slipped off the political radar, but do not prolong this upsetting trend. Watch “Decoys”; you will not regret it.