Friday, April 4, 2008

Rob and Neil review your meal: The Regulars

By Rob Brewer and Neil Olstad
Cardinal Staff

The Caf is an epicenter of student congregation. Friends exchange pleasantries, relationships blossom, and most importantly, food is served. Your expert connoisseurs, Rob and Neil are committed to guiding you through your Caf experience…..

Fries: Two distinct varieties from two distinct schools of thought. The first, a thick, robust steak fry, has a fluffy potato taste that will give you your starch fix for the week. The other style, the oft-neglected thin shoestring potato fry, is an endangered species in the Chartwells food kingdom. Equality amongst the fries each week is essential to French fry success.

Pizza: A hit or miss proposition. As many times as there is a scrumptious slice of pepperoni waiting to be scooped up, there is an overcooked, blackened imposter of a pizza pie. In the absence of a desirable entrĂ©e selection, pizza is typically the average student’s choice for a “safe” dinner.

Salad: The extensive salad bar is a sight to see for first-time Chartwells customers. Stretching over the length of two grown men, diners seek haven in the friendly confines of this green paradise, with a variety of fixings, toppings and delights any herbivore would dream of. For those of us counting calories, Chartwells offers low-fat dressing alternatives that will trim the waistline without trimming the taste.

Ice Cream: In the Arctic tundra of the ice cream freezer, no variety of creamy dessert is safe. With seemingly hundreds, if not thousands, of delicious flavors of ice cream, Chartwell’s always manages to keep patrons on their toes. The absence of the soft-serve machine has been a controversial subject, shrouded in mystery this year. Chartwell’s representatives declined to comment on the whereabouts and/or well being of our beloved soft-serve machine.

Cereal: More controversy lies across the cafeteria at the cereal bar. The acute taste buds of certain cereal connoisseurs, who wish to remain anonymous, report that the cereal is “mislabeled” as name brand and that Chartwells is intentionally misleading the students at Saint Mary’s University. These reports cannot be confirmed nor denied; but unanswered questions linger as many students ponder the sincerity of their beloved Chartwells staff. Controversy aside, Chartwells does offer a plentiful plethora of pleasant provisions that’s not just for breakfast anymore.

[Editor’s Note: The accusations and opinions of the food critics are not representative of “The Cardinal” newspaper or the student body.]

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